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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?